↖ Has nice dick

fakedick:

Hey, if you accidentally call a guy “daddy” in conversation, just save yourself by adding “-o” to the end and slick your hair back like a 1950’s greaser. And throw on your sick-ass leather jacket

Your thirst is hidden and now you’re the coolest dude in school

loki-waywardson:

ok but seriously my favourite prehistoric animal is definitely andrewsarchus
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THEIR JAW WAS A METER LONG

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LOOK AT THAT SIZE COMPARISON
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BUT THAT’S NOT THE BEST BIT
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YOU SEE THEIR CLOSEST LIVING RELATIVES AREN’T BEARS
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OR WOLVES
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NO
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THEIR CLOSEST LIVING RELATIVES
imageARE SHEEP
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Vitamin String Quartet - Mr. Brightside

135,889 plays

black-battler:

The Killer’s Mr. Brightside entirely in strings

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devonbanks:

this is still my favorite tweet of all time

thebeastfromthebigeast:

quackenbuschlight:

i remember one time this dude sent me a shirtless pic with the caption “lol maybe u can save this for a rainy day ;)”

and i was like “for what? to keep me dry? because that’s what it’s doing right now”

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cerirachelle:

I tell you all the time, heaven is a place on earth with you..😇
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exvl:

shadownote349:

exvl:

is this a giant can of coke or just a little version of me, that you will never know 

Giant can of coke. you can see that the bottom of the can is flat, for starters. And then there’s the fact that the bottom is screwed on (if you look closely you can see the small indent where one screw is), also the shine of the can is different than a regular can. And lastly, the two stickers on the bottom of the can.

congratufuckinglations you found out that i am in fact not a human smaller than a pop can amazing  job